Movie Review
Chapter 2 - The forces of good and evil in a forsaken land
After being treated with some images of strangely pleasant landscapes and bubbling water, the story begins in a tavern, where the signs of decadence are apparent: gambling, muscular guards in hotpants, and seductive dancers. Now, it is not unusual to see female variants of the latter, and they are present here as well. However, for some reason, the camera dwells a bit too much on this guy:
You will see a lot of this man in this scene, and if anything, it sets the tone for a movie you're likely to never forget. In the very same scene, the main character enters, and it becomes apparent that he is a cunning maverick, as he swiftly distracts the muscular guard in hotpants, and then goes on to steal a diamond from a few gambling patrons.
"Hi, I'm Bruce Abbott. You might remember me from such films as Re-Animator, Bride of Re-Animator, and... that one Macgyver episode where I starred as the Russian agent Nikolai Kossov."
His name is Swan, and not only is he a cunning trickster; he knows how to brawl, seduce and shoot guns - all essential qualities of a true hero. Let's move forward a bit, so I can explain the plot of the movie.
These are the two main villains:
I don't remember their names, but the elegant lady to the left is basically the boss, and the guy with the moustache is her man, and co-leader of their band of raiders. What sets him apart from the rest of the team, is that he has a katana, rather than something less efficient, like a 12-gauge shotgun. Their gang of evil thugs are after a treasure, guarded by monks, and they line up in front of the temple, heavily armed.
The monks show no fear, as they stand before temple, with no protection. What manner of stupidity could persuade them to voluntarily sacrifice themselves?
The thugs show no mercy, and lets loose a barrage of bullets, but after the smoke clears, they are in for a surprise.
What manner of treachery is this? Let's find out.
The monks apparently used their mind-powers to create an impenetrable forcefield. This of course, angers the guy with the katana to no end.
The thugs are forced to give up and leave, for now, but they will not rest until they get their hands on that treasure, whatever it is. Nobody, excluding the monks, actually knows what the treasure is, so that would explain why they're so curious about it. I don't want to spoil the movie, but in the end you find out it's a video tape with some information about how life was before the catastrophe. If the monks would've just told everyone that it was some sort of shit library, I'm convinced that the thugs wouldn't have bothered to attack them.
Anyway, the monks must protect the secret treasure, so they send this man:
His name is Panasonic. Yes, Panasonic. His mission is to find the chosen one, who can save them. Guess who that's gonna be? No, not the seductive dancer. Panasonic, like the other monks, has psychic powers, but does not manage to take care of himself very well. Just a few moments after leaving the temple, he is bitten by a snake, and dies. Well, ok, he doesn't die, he's actually saved by Swan, whom is revealed to be the chosen one, conveniently enough.
Stay tuned for more, in the third and final part of this marvelous review!
Song of the day: Kabal featuring Assassin - Mort De Peine
http://rapidshare.com/files/110871797/05.Kabal_feat_Assassin_-_Mort_De_Peine.mp3.html
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